Remembering a Friend

Karyn Wynalda
Christchurch, New Zealand
Friend

Christmas morning in New Zealand, I received an email from a mutual friend of Ted and myself, that he had passed away. I was really taken aback, and deeply grieved; the world was less a stellar man. It's hard to imagine that I will not get any more emails from Ted, for that was our prime method of communication since we "met" in 2000 by email, when I was in Central America and he in Edmonton. It took over a year, but we did finally meet in person--at Heidi and Chris' wedding, and I was so nervous, he so calm. We were glad to step from behind the computer screens so our relationship wasn't a "cyber-thing", ironic for two who longed for simpler living, as we both admitted laughingly that night. Years went by and we lived/worked apart in different cities/countries, but consistently writing and sharing ideas. I know for me, Ted was a bit of an anchor point, someone I could count on to understand my consternation with global warming, poverty, recycling, the need for organics...

I got up the courage to read through some of the emails we'd sent in the last few years and the somewhat eccentric conversations: creative composting, worries about cell phone signals through our heads, deodorant experiments, bicycle adventures....stuff that I felt so safe and "normal" talking to Ted about, but sometimes thought, with a chuckle, maybe not dinner party fare. I will really miss reading Ted's thoughts, and responding to them. I am thankful for words I have, and hope one day to go through them for some more nuggets of wisdom, good ideas, recommended book/article lists.

I often wondered why God allowed Ted and I to be friends if we so rarely could garden the same plot of ground, or talk face to face. What a treat to read the snippets others have written that in "real life" he was fantastic, like he was on screen and paper. We met a few more times after the wedding meeting, a more memorable hike in Alberta where I slipped and almost fell into a canyon but was saved by a tiny tree, my arm hooked around it, and an adrenaline dash up the top where Ted was carefully and stressfully trying to reach me. I stood up, heart pounding and said, "Oh Ted, sorry about that, you wouldn't have had the car keys"... I am not sure he knew what to think, the look on his face--it was always fun to make Ted laugh.

God had other plans for Ted...and for me, I'm planning the orchard of fruit and nut trees, the garden is coming along, I just found an old bike to ride... It's peaceful knowing that all that earnest desire to redeem the earth is satisfied for him, that pleases me to no end. It'll be great to see Ted again where all things are made new, and make sense. I am SO thankful to Heidi, Ted's sister, for encouraging us to write each other, I am so thankful for Ted for writing first. You must know, Peter and Hennie, Heidi and Chris, Tim and Natalie, and those darling nieces and nephews, that he treasured you, and always relished the time together. My prayers are with you now.

In the words of one of our favourite writers, Wendell Berry:

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing...
Love someone who does not deserve it...
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias...
Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts...
Practise resurrection.
(in selected poems)