Cam Gorman
Fonthill, Ontario
High School Friend
Dear Vellenga Family,
We thank you very much for keeping in touch with us. As you are aware, Ted left a large, lasting impact on our lives. I don't believe anyone from our high school crew has written on the blog yet.It is a means that we have not used for sharing memories, as we have been fortunate to be near each other and often speak of and tell stories of Ted. Thanks to your update, we visited Ted's grave marking as a group. A sad occasion, but also joyous recognizing the great circle of friends we have that Ted is such an important part of.
For others who may be reading, Ted was a high school friend, part of a group anywhere from 10 to 20 of us. We frequently got together to hang out and did so much together, from going to the movies, bowling dressed up in silly 1970's clothing (Ted looked great in the brown plaid pants), to traveling to Algonquin Park (more than 10 of us in total) thanks to Ted spearheading the whole thing for us. We continued keeping in touch following our high school years.
As Ted went off on his adventures at various places throughout Canada and the US, his arrival home for a visit was always a highlight for any event, or an event in itself. It was on the night that we lost Ted that we had been awaiting his arrival at our annual Christmas party (known as the Ham party). My brother had pointed out that his arrival every year created the biggest uproar of excitement of the night. He of course would spend the evening asking everyone how they have been and what they have been up to, and listening with great interest to everyone. And of course, rarely speaking of himself. I read with a smile hearing of Ted's items stored for a planned farm. I admired his love of farming and of the land so much. As you speak with more people you learn even more things about Ted that are so interesting.
I wish all the Vellenga family our love.
We miss him very much.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
We knew Ted when he lived in Edmonton - I first met him at the University of Alberta chaplaincy where we would attend weekly dinners, bible studies and later host meals at an inner city church. Later he worked on my in-law's organic vegetable farm with us and became a steadfast friend.
We admired Ted for his vision and for the exciting ways that he wanted to use his gifts. He was deliberate in considering God's path for him and he sought ways to fulfill God's will in his life with such integrity.
Two months ago our second son was born and we have named him after the friend that we will always remember - Eli Theodore - he is a beautiful gift to us and I know that someday he will be proud to bear Ted's name.
Jennifer Berkenbosch and James Vriend
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thoughts about our dear son, Ted
Peter and Hennie Vellenga,
Ted’s parents
An update is long overdue – we were waiting till we had a picture of the marker on Ted’s grave to include with this letter. The text we selected so spoke of Ted, especially his struggle with depression.
We have passed through some firsts, Ted’s sister and brother-in-law’s birthday, Ted’s brother and sister-in-law’s birthday, a niece and nephew. On Ted’s birthday we visited his grave – that was very hard and the first “anniversary” of Ted’s graduation from Calvin – he was so happy on that day, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
The reality of knowing that Ted will never come back, or call us has become even more difficult, and thoughts of him surround us all the time – frequently thinking back to all that happened from just before we found out about the accident—because he didn’t arrive home when he said he would, and each detail after that. On Labour Day weekend last year he was going up and down the ladder from the hay mow in our barn where he stored all that he had collected—going through his items and loading them on our trailer for us to take up to Penetanguishene later that week. He left 2 days before us to find his apartment and become acquainted with his new surroundings. We have a lot of Ted’s items in the basement still waiting for us to go through, and all kinds of farm related items he was collecting for his future farm up in the hay mow. It is very difficult to see his items just standing there. Don’t know when we will feel ready to look through all Ted collected. We were excited for his dream and looking forward to helping him.
When we gathered his belongings from his apartment, he had pails of different grains he used in his cooking. I had no clue how to cook with them, and offered them to the Laing family – very dear friends of Ted who taught him a lot about organic farming, and using livestock instead of machinery for cultivating and harvesting, etc. But Mrs. Laing encouraged me to try use them. With help of whole grain cookbooks, I’m learning how to use the grains, and the food is very tasty! How I wished I had paid more attention to Ted and cooked with these grains. He would have been delighted! We also started a small organic garden this summer with the seeds he stored in our refrigerator. He would have been excited to give us tips!
We all take too much for granted, not realizing how fragile we are. Because…”.What a difference a day can make.” (That was the title of the message the Pastor used for Pete’s Mother’s funeral the day before Ted’s). Heaven is only a breath away.
More people have written us as they found out at a later date of the tragedy. These letters, entries in this blog, cards, emails from people sharing a memory of Ted we didn’t know about, Ted’s high school friends visiting us on Ted’s birthday, cards from others letting us know they had not forgotten Ted’s birthday, letters from Ted’s co-workers saying Ted is still in their thoughts, means so much to us, and we thank each of you for sharing.
Wishing you each God’s peace,
Peter and Hennie Vellenga
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
From College
Michelle Bosman Drost
College Friend of Ted's
I just finally opened the latest edition of "The King's Connections" and read of Ted's death. It has been over 10 years since I last saw or spoke to Ted. Even after all this time, the crinkle of his eyes as he smiled or laughed, flashes before me. We met at King's in 1998. It was my last year and his first. Ted joined the "King's Hand's" group that I was a part of. We went to the local youth jail and psychiatric hospital to bring the message of Christ. Ted was funny, intelligent and caring. He always paid great attention to everything anyone said to him. I remember visiting a group of youth at Edmonton's Young Offenders Centre and the only song they knew was "Awesome God". We must have sang it over 5 times with them! Ted was the only one who knew the words to the verses. Ted seemed shy, but when needed always rose to serve and sing and share with the inmates. He sought out the one who was alone in the corner. He connected. Thank you God for the gift of Ted. I know he touched many lives. May his family and friends take comfort in knowing this.
College Friend of Ted's
I just finally opened the latest edition of "The King's Connections" and read of Ted's death. It has been over 10 years since I last saw or spoke to Ted. Even after all this time, the crinkle of his eyes as he smiled or laughed, flashes before me. We met at King's in 1998. It was my last year and his first. Ted joined the "King's Hand's" group that I was a part of. We went to the local youth jail and psychiatric hospital to bring the message of Christ. Ted was funny, intelligent and caring. He always paid great attention to everything anyone said to him. I remember visiting a group of youth at Edmonton's Young Offenders Centre and the only song they knew was "Awesome God". We must have sang it over 5 times with them! Ted was the only one who knew the words to the verses. Ted seemed shy, but when needed always rose to serve and sing and share with the inmates. He sought out the one who was alone in the corner. He connected. Thank you God for the gift of Ted. I know he touched many lives. May his family and friends take comfort in knowing this.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
A Friend, In Former Days
Angela Van Essen
Wonju, South Korea
Friend
Dear Hennie and Peter Vellenga, Tim, and Heidi.
I am writing to you because I was friends with Ted while we were both students at The King’s University College. We worked together on the Vriend’s Organic Vegetable farm for a summer, and I have always admired and respected Ted. I am also writing to you because Ted’s story has strangely and sadly intersected with my own. Canadian poet and novelist Michael Ondaatje once wrote "we live permanently in the recurrence of our own stories, whatever story we tell." I heard about Ted’s death the day after the anniversary of my own sister’s death, which occurred 20 years ago on May 25th. I was eight years old when my older sister was killed in a collision while riding her bike home from the local Safeway. It is a part of my life story that will always affect me deeply. So when I read the news of Ted’s death on that day, the grief that sprung up within me was far deeper than the grief I felt for Ted, because it was mixed with the recurrence of another.
I know that after my sister’s death I tried to collect relics of hers; things she left behind. I stole her diary and kept it with my own notebooks and poetry. I wore her old clothes when I grew into them. Later I grew crushes on the boys who went to school with her. So even though these acts were childish, I identify with the desire to collect memories and stories of the people we miss so deeply. Because of this, I felt compelled to record my own fragmented memory of Ted, even though we lost touch in the last five or six years.
A friend, in former days
“there are some people whom you can never forget. Whose presence slips between nostalgia and forgetting”
but these are recycled words, and now I seek neither the gloss of nostalgia nor the fog of forgetting. Yet my act of writing reveals only the frailty of my memory. What I recover feels dusty and clumsy in the words I set down.
These are the fragments that I have found. Perhaps they too can be used within the structure of this stained-glass picture…
Once we swung on swings in a park. It was after eating Thai food in a restaurant. Perhaps we were both missing Josh, and eating the food made us feel like we too were trying something new, something marginally exciting. He got dizzy and I laughed. I felt like a child again.
Once we picked saskatoons in the river valley with recycled margarine containers as our pails.
Once we stood together within a row in front of a small crowd, shy and proud recipients of some kind of academic award. He congratulated me, and I him. I remember feeling that this was a new side to him, one I had not seen before. We were not in classes together, and he always seemed so quiet.
Once we all snorted with laughter, on our hands and knees in the dirt. All of us; Ted, Rob, Fama, Josh, Anja, Beth, me, and the Vandergiesen hippie were making farting noises and throwing dirt clumps in the field. I think we were weeding. I think someone shouted ‘fire in the hole!’
And several times we rode the tractor back to the yard after a long, dusty, and sweaty day. Sometimes he would be silently practicing his sign language. Sometimes he would just be taking in the prairie sky.
These are the pieces I remember best. These are the ones I will keep.
Wonju, South Korea
Friend
Dear Hennie and Peter Vellenga, Tim, and Heidi.
I am writing to you because I was friends with Ted while we were both students at The King’s University College. We worked together on the Vriend’s Organic Vegetable farm for a summer, and I have always admired and respected Ted. I am also writing to you because Ted’s story has strangely and sadly intersected with my own. Canadian poet and novelist Michael Ondaatje once wrote "we live permanently in the recurrence of our own stories, whatever story we tell." I heard about Ted’s death the day after the anniversary of my own sister’s death, which occurred 20 years ago on May 25th. I was eight years old when my older sister was killed in a collision while riding her bike home from the local Safeway. It is a part of my life story that will always affect me deeply. So when I read the news of Ted’s death on that day, the grief that sprung up within me was far deeper than the grief I felt for Ted, because it was mixed with the recurrence of another.
I know that after my sister’s death I tried to collect relics of hers; things she left behind. I stole her diary and kept it with my own notebooks and poetry. I wore her old clothes when I grew into them. Later I grew crushes on the boys who went to school with her. So even though these acts were childish, I identify with the desire to collect memories and stories of the people we miss so deeply. Because of this, I felt compelled to record my own fragmented memory of Ted, even though we lost touch in the last five or six years.
A friend, in former days
“there are some people whom you can never forget. Whose presence slips between nostalgia and forgetting”
but these are recycled words, and now I seek neither the gloss of nostalgia nor the fog of forgetting. Yet my act of writing reveals only the frailty of my memory. What I recover feels dusty and clumsy in the words I set down.
These are the fragments that I have found. Perhaps they too can be used within the structure of this stained-glass picture…
Once we swung on swings in a park. It was after eating Thai food in a restaurant. Perhaps we were both missing Josh, and eating the food made us feel like we too were trying something new, something marginally exciting. He got dizzy and I laughed. I felt like a child again.
Once we picked saskatoons in the river valley with recycled margarine containers as our pails.
Once we stood together within a row in front of a small crowd, shy and proud recipients of some kind of academic award. He congratulated me, and I him. I remember feeling that this was a new side to him, one I had not seen before. We were not in classes together, and he always seemed so quiet.
Once we all snorted with laughter, on our hands and knees in the dirt. All of us; Ted, Rob, Fama, Josh, Anja, Beth, me, and the Vandergiesen hippie were making farting noises and throwing dirt clumps in the field. I think we were weeding. I think someone shouted ‘fire in the hole!’
And several times we rode the tractor back to the yard after a long, dusty, and sweaty day. Sometimes he would be silently practicing his sign language. Sometimes he would just be taking in the prairie sky.
These are the pieces I remember best. These are the ones I will keep.
Friday, May 9, 2008
October Football
Dennis Perrin
College Friend
Edmonton, AB
I just opened my mailbox to encounter another addition of "Connections"; a newsletter for Alumni of The King's University College. I sat in disbelief as I read of Ted's passing from this earth. I was and still am deeply saddened to hear of this news. It grieves me greatly.
Ted and I met in September of 1998 where we were first-year students at The King's University College in Edmonton. We both lived in Rez, and one fall night decided to take in an Edmonton Eskimos football game. Ted had always struck me as a very calm and gentle guy. However at one point in that football game, with the lights of Commonwealth Stadium shining down on us, a bug which was massive and resembled a cockroach landed in Ted's lap. I soon learned that there was more than just calm to Ted as he quickly jumped a mile high out of his seat at the site of this new visitor!
I will always remember Ted as a person of Godly character whose faith in His Creator was never questioned by any who knew him. He was a joy to work with on class projects, bringing great insight and intelligence to the work at hand. His eyes displayed more kindness than words could ever speak. It has been several years since I have spoken with Ted, but kept up to speed with his endeavors at Calvin and subsequently his appointment to the ministry at the Mental Health Centre via The Banner.
My deepest sympathies and prayers go out to the Vellenga family. May God bring you His Shalom.
Ted, until we meet again.
Dennis
College Friend
Edmonton, AB
I just opened my mailbox to encounter another addition of "Connections"; a newsletter for Alumni of The King's University College. I sat in disbelief as I read of Ted's passing from this earth. I was and still am deeply saddened to hear of this news. It grieves me greatly.
Ted and I met in September of 1998 where we were first-year students at The King's University College in Edmonton. We both lived in Rez, and one fall night decided to take in an Edmonton Eskimos football game. Ted had always struck me as a very calm and gentle guy. However at one point in that football game, with the lights of Commonwealth Stadium shining down on us, a bug which was massive and resembled a cockroach landed in Ted's lap. I soon learned that there was more than just calm to Ted as he quickly jumped a mile high out of his seat at the site of this new visitor!
I will always remember Ted as a person of Godly character whose faith in His Creator was never questioned by any who knew him. He was a joy to work with on class projects, bringing great insight and intelligence to the work at hand. His eyes displayed more kindness than words could ever speak. It has been several years since I have spoken with Ted, but kept up to speed with his endeavors at Calvin and subsequently his appointment to the ministry at the Mental Health Centre via The Banner.
My deepest sympathies and prayers go out to the Vellenga family. May God bring you His Shalom.
Ted, until we meet again.
Dennis
Monday, March 17, 2008
Our Dear Son Ted
Peter and Hennie Vellenga
Ted's Parents
As parents we are grateful for the memories shared in this Blog, they are such a comfort to us.
It has been almost 3 months since Ted passed away, and we would like to write a few things that have happened.
Ted's co-workers at the Mental Health Centre in Penetanguishene organized a Memorial Serivce in January for which staff, patients and friends could participate. Pete and I, along with our daughter Heidi and son Tim also attended. The service was held in the Spiritual Centre of the Oakridge facility for the criminally insane where Ted worked. The chapel was full and a number of patients and staff were given an opportunity to share their thoughts and memories. After the service we had the privilege of meeting some of the men Ted had been ministering to.
It was good to talk with them and to thank these men for their cards of condolence which they had sent along with the staff who were able to attend the funeral. These men counted Ted as their friend, and there was much weeping and sadness over the loss of a friend.
Later in January when we were going through a particularly rough time, Ted's immediate supervisor and mentor made the 3 hour car trip down from Penetanguishene to visit us as family. His words of counsel were very comforting and helpful.
People who had experienced the painful loss of a loved one warned us that the effects of our loss would worsen as time goes on, and it certainly has - the tears are much more frequent. This is what we are coping with now....the "no mores" and the "never again(s)" as well as "I wish I....." or "if only we......"
Sunday March 30th would have been Ted's 30th birthday, that will be a difficult day for us. Our comfort is knowing that Ted is with the Lord he loved, and his earthly struggles are now over.
Our thanks to everyone who entered a memory in this blog, and to all those who have taken the time to read them.
Thank you Ben, for so kindly setting up this Blog - it means a lot to us.
Wishing you all God's peace,
Hennie and Peter Vellenga
Ted's Parents
As parents we are grateful for the memories shared in this Blog, they are such a comfort to us.
It has been almost 3 months since Ted passed away, and we would like to write a few things that have happened.
Ted's co-workers at the Mental Health Centre in Penetanguishene organized a Memorial Serivce in January for which staff, patients and friends could participate. Pete and I, along with our daughter Heidi and son Tim also attended. The service was held in the Spiritual Centre of the Oakridge facility for the criminally insane where Ted worked. The chapel was full and a number of patients and staff were given an opportunity to share their thoughts and memories. After the service we had the privilege of meeting some of the men Ted had been ministering to.
It was good to talk with them and to thank these men for their cards of condolence which they had sent along with the staff who were able to attend the funeral. These men counted Ted as their friend, and there was much weeping and sadness over the loss of a friend.
Later in January when we were going through a particularly rough time, Ted's immediate supervisor and mentor made the 3 hour car trip down from Penetanguishene to visit us as family. His words of counsel were very comforting and helpful.
People who had experienced the painful loss of a loved one warned us that the effects of our loss would worsen as time goes on, and it certainly has - the tears are much more frequent. This is what we are coping with now....the "no mores" and the "never again(s)" as well as "I wish I....." or "if only we......"
Sunday March 30th would have been Ted's 30th birthday, that will be a difficult day for us. Our comfort is knowing that Ted is with the Lord he loved, and his earthly struggles are now over.
Our thanks to everyone who entered a memory in this blog, and to all those who have taken the time to read them.
Thank you Ben, for so kindly setting up this Blog - it means a lot to us.
Wishing you all God's peace,
Hennie and Peter Vellenga
Thursday, January 31, 2008
An Inspiration
Natalie Vellenga
Ted's sister-in-law
Although I did not know Ted as well as I wish I had, I always felt at peace with him. Prior to meeting Tim's family for the first time I was, as I assume most people are, nervous, wanting to leave the best first impression and worried about doing or saying the wrong thing. I specifically remember when I first met Ted I had none of these feelings. I immediately felt welcome and comfortable with him. Though I cannot remember exactly what we discussed, I do remember the conversation was easy yet insightful. Any time we talked there was never an "uncomfortable silence." When silence did enter any conversation with Ted, it was pensive, relaxing, calming, and soothing, everything, for me, silence usually is not when meeting people for the first time. When Ted spoke he was so gentle, his soft spoken voice made you listen intently as it was soothing to hear, and what he spoke of was always intelligent and insightful. In responding to his questions, he made you think and realize things that you never would have realized or thought about speaking those same words before, traits that I have seldom encountered before or since meeting Ted. Everyone who knew him and was touched by him has spoke of the same things, that he was a great listener, genuine person, a true follower of God. He did so many great things and was so passionate about things he enjoyed that it not only made you respect him, but also admire and adore him. Such a selfless soul, and to know that he struggled at times is as much of a shock as it is a revelation into why he was who he was. A truly great individual, he makes me want to be a better person, better follower of God, better listener, better to the environment, better in everything I do every day. I truly believe that in this day, if there were a prophet who spoke so clearly without having to say a word and solely through his actions, how he lived his life, and his kindness towards others, I believe he was Ted. I consider it a great blessing to have met him and to call him my brother.
Ted, I love you and miss you dearly.
Ted's sister-in-law
Although I did not know Ted as well as I wish I had, I always felt at peace with him. Prior to meeting Tim's family for the first time I was, as I assume most people are, nervous, wanting to leave the best first impression and worried about doing or saying the wrong thing. I specifically remember when I first met Ted I had none of these feelings. I immediately felt welcome and comfortable with him. Though I cannot remember exactly what we discussed, I do remember the conversation was easy yet insightful. Any time we talked there was never an "uncomfortable silence." When silence did enter any conversation with Ted, it was pensive, relaxing, calming, and soothing, everything, for me, silence usually is not when meeting people for the first time. When Ted spoke he was so gentle, his soft spoken voice made you listen intently as it was soothing to hear, and what he spoke of was always intelligent and insightful. In responding to his questions, he made you think and realize things that you never would have realized or thought about speaking those same words before, traits that I have seldom encountered before or since meeting Ted. Everyone who knew him and was touched by him has spoke of the same things, that he was a great listener, genuine person, a true follower of God. He did so many great things and was so passionate about things he enjoyed that it not only made you respect him, but also admire and adore him. Such a selfless soul, and to know that he struggled at times is as much of a shock as it is a revelation into why he was who he was. A truly great individual, he makes me want to be a better person, better follower of God, better listener, better to the environment, better in everything I do every day. I truly believe that in this day, if there were a prophet who spoke so clearly without having to say a word and solely through his actions, how he lived his life, and his kindness towards others, I believe he was Ted. I consider it a great blessing to have met him and to call him my brother.
Ted, I love you and miss you dearly.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Our Cousin Ted
Darryl
Ted's Cousin
I haven't seen Ted in a couple of years, as a Family that usually gets together for family events especially Christmas, Mothers Day, Easter and so on. Everyone tries to make it but as the kids get older we all seem to have places to be and other commitments that we can't skip out on or the issue of distance. But I remember that all those times we got together as a large family, at some point in the night you would talk to Ted. And the cool thing about Ted was that he remembered what we talked about last time we met. About school or work or what we were going to do for our career. Even though there was over a ten year age gap between him and the rest of the cousins, he still took the time to talk to us and not blow us off like we were little kids. This past Christmas was hard on all of us. I was looking forward to seeing him and his beard, talking to him about what he and I have been doing in the last couple of years, about his new job and my change in careers again. I was looking forward to seeing him because I just hadn’t seen him in awhile. I remember a couple days before Christmas I was driving home and thinking about the up coming festivities, and his face popped into my head and I thought, "Hey, that’s right, I haven’t seen Ted in a long time."
To me Ted was a great listener, a humble man and enjoyment to be around. After reading all the other people that knew him, I began to see that people agreed with the way I thought of him, but also saw a side that you don’t always see. He loved what he did and wanted to do the best he could in it. I thank all those people that have written on this blog, cause it made me feel like I was sitting right beside him this Christmas hearing what he had been up to.
Ted will be greatly missed, but Never forgotten
Ted's Cousin
I haven't seen Ted in a couple of years, as a Family that usually gets together for family events especially Christmas, Mothers Day, Easter and so on. Everyone tries to make it but as the kids get older we all seem to have places to be and other commitments that we can't skip out on or the issue of distance. But I remember that all those times we got together as a large family, at some point in the night you would talk to Ted. And the cool thing about Ted was that he remembered what we talked about last time we met. About school or work or what we were going to do for our career. Even though there was over a ten year age gap between him and the rest of the cousins, he still took the time to talk to us and not blow us off like we were little kids. This past Christmas was hard on all of us. I was looking forward to seeing him and his beard, talking to him about what he and I have been doing in the last couple of years, about his new job and my change in careers again. I was looking forward to seeing him because I just hadn’t seen him in awhile. I remember a couple days before Christmas I was driving home and thinking about the up coming festivities, and his face popped into my head and I thought, "Hey, that’s right, I haven’t seen Ted in a long time."
To me Ted was a great listener, a humble man and enjoyment to be around. After reading all the other people that knew him, I began to see that people agreed with the way I thought of him, but also saw a side that you don’t always see. He loved what he did and wanted to do the best he could in it. I thank all those people that have written on this blog, cause it made me feel like I was sitting right beside him this Christmas hearing what he had been up to.
Ted will be greatly missed, but Never forgotten
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Festival of Friends
Amanda Kleine
St. Albert, Alberta
sister of Josh Krikke, Ted's roommate
Ted led a beautiful prayer at my brother's wedding reception this past summer. I cannot do justice to his thoughtfully placed words, but he mentioned that certainly our recently passed mother was communing with us as we shared in the joy of Josh and Sarah's wedding feast. His prayer touched me deeply that day, and I wanted to convey those same words to his family as a reminder of his presence at their own family feasts and joyous occasions in the years to come.
Canadian songwriter Bruce Coburn writes in his song "Festival of Friends":
Some of us live and some of us die
Someday God's going to tell us why
Open your heart and grow with what life sends
That's your ticket to the festival of friends.
Like an imitation of a good thing past
These days of darkness surely will not last
Jesus was here and he's coming again
To lead us to his festival of friends.
It will be lovely to meet Ted once again at the festival of friends.
St. Albert, Alberta
sister of Josh Krikke, Ted's roommate
Ted led a beautiful prayer at my brother's wedding reception this past summer. I cannot do justice to his thoughtfully placed words, but he mentioned that certainly our recently passed mother was communing with us as we shared in the joy of Josh and Sarah's wedding feast. His prayer touched me deeply that day, and I wanted to convey those same words to his family as a reminder of his presence at their own family feasts and joyous occasions in the years to come.
Canadian songwriter Bruce Coburn writes in his song "Festival of Friends":
Some of us live and some of us die
Someday God's going to tell us why
Open your heart and grow with what life sends
That's your ticket to the festival of friends.
Like an imitation of a good thing past
These days of darkness surely will not last
Jesus was here and he's coming again
To lead us to his festival of friends.
It will be lovely to meet Ted once again at the festival of friends.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
As kids
Peter Stroobosscher
Changwon, South Korea
Childhood Friend
The last time I saw Ted was at a baseball game in High School. It was short, but not uncomfortable. After a golden childhood, we faced the world in opposite directions. It happens that way. Kids move off, attend different schools. You get your heart broken a bit. That's the well-worn path to adulthood.
The shame of it is that it becomes difficult to string together old memories. I didn't figure on needing them. Kids don't take things in that way. But the memories are somewhere in the back of my head, and I'm going to remember them. Some have come back already in the past couple days. They come back if I train my mind on him. But sometimes they trickle back of their own accord. The other night I was slow dancing, and out of nowhere I just lost it and had to leave the dance floor. The girl I was dancing with came out out a while later and found me at the top of the steps again in tears. Old flashes are working themselves out somewhere in there.
You all write about Ted in a way that makes perfect sense to me. All the warmth of God, the wisdom, patience- all of those things are a picture of Ted that I'd formed already twenty years ago. After all these years, nothing of what you say is out of place. It was all there from the beginning.
We were very competitive. That started when we were 6. I got a black vinyl jacket, which is good as leather when you're six years old. We'd ride up and down Rock Street in Smithville. If I remember right, he was stuck riding a banana seat. I had a red BMX with a leather jacket. Peter 1, Ted 0.
He was the first person to tell me not to eat my own snot. I'm not trying to be funny by saying that. I remember it clear as day, we were 6 or 7, another Rock Street memory. Rather matter-of-fact he said I shouldn't do that because people might think it was gross- invaluable advice going into the first years of grade school. Most kids would've just told me I was disgusting. He gets five points for that one. The things we remember...
He was stronger than I was. But I could run faster. He was no good at monopoly. But we both ruled at Double Dragon arcade version. We discovered that game at Bissels Hideaway one summer. I bragged that I could control traffic with my mind. He bragged that he could control airborne objects with his. No lie. He told me so on the Wellandport Elementary soccer field. (Not the dunking hill, but the lower soccer field.) He played defense because he was a little slower, and when the ball would go up he'd clench his eyes shut and direct the ball with his mind to land somewhere. He swore it worked. I was a little jealous, but only because I found it so enthralling. Most kids would have just told me not to talk silly.
We'd compete in our sleep. Or at least on the verge of sleep. We'd spend weekends at each other's houses. Tim and Ted shared a bedroom downstairs. When I came over, Tim was displaced upstairs and Ted and I would talk well into the wee hours. Finally, just to get ourselves to shut up one of us would make the declaration, "K, next person to talk loses!" And that was it. And so we'd lie there in the dark, quiet as mice. Then two minutes in, I could hear him laughing through his nose, nostrils flaring, and we'd both explode laughing and the whole thing would start up again.
He was my best friend.
I have known many people who have died. But there have always been two people in heaven watching me. One is my cousin Erica Eggink. The other is my Grandpa. They watch me in my moments of true goodness, and in my moments of total depravity. They see it all. Maybe I've appointed them to that station for the sheer impact that their deaths had on me. Or, as a much warmer thought, maybe they've been appointed to me. At any rate, it's been that way for 13 years. But not anymore. Ted is there too now- and don't think for a second that this is a shot at poetry, or sense-making. For me, his presence among them could not be felt with more clarity.
I have to go to bed now. But I am by no means finished. I have nothing but love for anyone and everyone who writes on this page. Whoever it was who is setting this up, Ben if that's you, cheers. I don't know what it is about this medium. Memory becomes permanent here, maybe that's why I am smiling right now. I dunno. Mr. and Mrs. Vellenga, Heidi and Tim, thank you so much for the time you gave me at the church. You are all very much on my mind and in my prayers. God's peace.
Changwon, South Korea
Childhood Friend
The last time I saw Ted was at a baseball game in High School. It was short, but not uncomfortable. After a golden childhood, we faced the world in opposite directions. It happens that way. Kids move off, attend different schools. You get your heart broken a bit. That's the well-worn path to adulthood.
The shame of it is that it becomes difficult to string together old memories. I didn't figure on needing them. Kids don't take things in that way. But the memories are somewhere in the back of my head, and I'm going to remember them. Some have come back already in the past couple days. They come back if I train my mind on him. But sometimes they trickle back of their own accord. The other night I was slow dancing, and out of nowhere I just lost it and had to leave the dance floor. The girl I was dancing with came out out a while later and found me at the top of the steps again in tears. Old flashes are working themselves out somewhere in there.
You all write about Ted in a way that makes perfect sense to me. All the warmth of God, the wisdom, patience- all of those things are a picture of Ted that I'd formed already twenty years ago. After all these years, nothing of what you say is out of place. It was all there from the beginning.
We were very competitive. That started when we were 6. I got a black vinyl jacket, which is good as leather when you're six years old. We'd ride up and down Rock Street in Smithville. If I remember right, he was stuck riding a banana seat. I had a red BMX with a leather jacket. Peter 1, Ted 0.
He was the first person to tell me not to eat my own snot. I'm not trying to be funny by saying that. I remember it clear as day, we were 6 or 7, another Rock Street memory. Rather matter-of-fact he said I shouldn't do that because people might think it was gross- invaluable advice going into the first years of grade school. Most kids would've just told me I was disgusting. He gets five points for that one. The things we remember...
He was stronger than I was. But I could run faster. He was no good at monopoly. But we both ruled at Double Dragon arcade version. We discovered that game at Bissels Hideaway one summer. I bragged that I could control traffic with my mind. He bragged that he could control airborne objects with his. No lie. He told me so on the Wellandport Elementary soccer field. (Not the dunking hill, but the lower soccer field.) He played defense because he was a little slower, and when the ball would go up he'd clench his eyes shut and direct the ball with his mind to land somewhere. He swore it worked. I was a little jealous, but only because I found it so enthralling. Most kids would have just told me not to talk silly.
We'd compete in our sleep. Or at least on the verge of sleep. We'd spend weekends at each other's houses. Tim and Ted shared a bedroom downstairs. When I came over, Tim was displaced upstairs and Ted and I would talk well into the wee hours. Finally, just to get ourselves to shut up one of us would make the declaration, "K, next person to talk loses!" And that was it. And so we'd lie there in the dark, quiet as mice. Then two minutes in, I could hear him laughing through his nose, nostrils flaring, and we'd both explode laughing and the whole thing would start up again.
He was my best friend.
I have known many people who have died. But there have always been two people in heaven watching me. One is my cousin Erica Eggink. The other is my Grandpa. They watch me in my moments of true goodness, and in my moments of total depravity. They see it all. Maybe I've appointed them to that station for the sheer impact that their deaths had on me. Or, as a much warmer thought, maybe they've been appointed to me. At any rate, it's been that way for 13 years. But not anymore. Ted is there too now- and don't think for a second that this is a shot at poetry, or sense-making. For me, his presence among them could not be felt with more clarity.
I have to go to bed now. But I am by no means finished. I have nothing but love for anyone and everyone who writes on this page. Whoever it was who is setting this up, Ben if that's you, cheers. I don't know what it is about this medium. Memory becomes permanent here, maybe that's why I am smiling right now. I dunno. Mr. and Mrs. Vellenga, Heidi and Tim, thank you so much for the time you gave me at the church. You are all very much on my mind and in my prayers. God's peace.
Monday, January 21, 2008
A Brother To Us All
Tim Vellenga
Ted's Brother
By now myself and most likely anyone reading this would have expected either an email, phone call or some form of contact from Ted regarding our Christmas holidays. Ted would ask just the right questions to keep the story going. I believe nothing, besides the comforting thought of being with his Lord, Jesus Christ, gave him more satisfaction than hearing about our children and their adventures or for others the blessings the Lord has granted us with happiness.
Ted was not only a good farmer, and steward of God's earth, he was also a harvester of Gods people. He had the ability to listen to our stories, of good times and bad, and by the Grace of God and His kind Spirit working through Ted, Ted would encourage us to grow--not to be like Ted, (not all of us are able to write in circles around recycled envelope windows, or come up with 20 odd recipes from one home grown red cabbage)--but to find the good within ourselves and let it shine.
It was this sunshine Ted would harvest from us, the grace of God he would see in us. Whether it was to learn more about farming, gardening, cooking, animals/livestock, sustainable living, all aspects of Gods Kingdom. Or to learn from our spiritual side, our souls and the likeness of God created within each of us. God worked through Ted on earth and continues to work, not just in the memory of Ted, but in the spirits of all who continue to sustain and improve His Kingdom in His name.
For this reason I am eternally grateful to God for the gift he sent each of us in the form of our brother Ted and I am so filled with joy knowing each of you had the experience of meeting Ted on your Walk with our Lord.
Ted I love and I miss you so much.
Your brother,
Tim
Ted's Brother
By now myself and most likely anyone reading this would have expected either an email, phone call or some form of contact from Ted regarding our Christmas holidays. Ted would ask just the right questions to keep the story going. I believe nothing, besides the comforting thought of being with his Lord, Jesus Christ, gave him more satisfaction than hearing about our children and their adventures or for others the blessings the Lord has granted us with happiness.
Ted was not only a good farmer, and steward of God's earth, he was also a harvester of Gods people. He had the ability to listen to our stories, of good times and bad, and by the Grace of God and His kind Spirit working through Ted, Ted would encourage us to grow--not to be like Ted, (not all of us are able to write in circles around recycled envelope windows, or come up with 20 odd recipes from one home grown red cabbage)--but to find the good within ourselves and let it shine.
It was this sunshine Ted would harvest from us, the grace of God he would see in us. Whether it was to learn more about farming, gardening, cooking, animals/livestock, sustainable living, all aspects of Gods Kingdom. Or to learn from our spiritual side, our souls and the likeness of God created within each of us. God worked through Ted on earth and continues to work, not just in the memory of Ted, but in the spirits of all who continue to sustain and improve His Kingdom in His name.
For this reason I am eternally grateful to God for the gift he sent each of us in the form of our brother Ted and I am so filled with joy knowing each of you had the experience of meeting Ted on your Walk with our Lord.
Ted I love and I miss you so much.
Your brother,
Tim
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Ted, Farmer and Friend
Anna Hoekstra
Zeeland, Michigan
King's University College
In the 24 hours since I have learned of Ted's passing, I continue to remember my many encounters with him. One of my first reactions to writing for this was- I don't know anything about him- he was always listening to ME when we talked! I do know Ted was a kind listener, a minister to people and to the earth. I knew Ted from environmental studies and psychology classes at King's College and hiking with the outdoors club. We were both involved with King's hands - a group that went to a juvenile detention center to have devotions with the teens and of course we were involved with the environmental group on campus.
Ted was the head of this group one year and suggested I evaluate the need and location for recycle bins around campus. I also would see Ted at the farmer's market selling organic vegetables from Vreind's farm- I eventually worked there too. Our mutual interest and common experiences in politics, third world issues, spirituality, church, sustainability, farming, Quakers kept bringing us together. I remember he came with me to a Quaker potluck in Grand Rapids and by the end of the potluck he knew more people's names than I did, even though I had been attending for much longer! Ted was so honest about what he knew and didn't know! I have a few friends who are agnostic and I would relate to Ted my conversations with them and how I would find my beliefs by talking to someone who believed differently. Ted contacted me later, interested in hearing more from my friends for a seminary paper. I might be able to get a copy if anyone is interested. But he met them and interviewed them in my kitchen about their beliefs--
More recently Ted has been a support as a friend to my farm. He came out to see our small production the first year and the second year. He was interested in everything, even my horrible, amateur plumbing job! We sat under a tent and ate pie with my parents. Another interesting story - Ted I think really like potatoes- He asked if he could come out to the farm and pick some potatoes, and I said yes, of course we have plenty! I showed him where to look - potatoes were hard to find at that time because the plant had died and all that were left were huge weeds, well he dug and dug up 90 lbs of potatoes- We talked a few
months later- I am still eating your potatoes!! -- he said. What an encouraging and supportive friend. I really can't wait to spend more time with him!!
Zeeland, Michigan
King's University College
In the 24 hours since I have learned of Ted's passing, I continue to remember my many encounters with him. One of my first reactions to writing for this was- I don't know anything about him- he was always listening to ME when we talked! I do know Ted was a kind listener, a minister to people and to the earth. I knew Ted from environmental studies and psychology classes at King's College and hiking with the outdoors club. We were both involved with King's hands - a group that went to a juvenile detention center to have devotions with the teens and of course we were involved with the environmental group on campus.
Ted was the head of this group one year and suggested I evaluate the need and location for recycle bins around campus. I also would see Ted at the farmer's market selling organic vegetables from Vreind's farm- I eventually worked there too. Our mutual interest and common experiences in politics, third world issues, spirituality, church, sustainability, farming, Quakers kept bringing us together. I remember he came with me to a Quaker potluck in Grand Rapids and by the end of the potluck he knew more people's names than I did, even though I had been attending for much longer! Ted was so honest about what he knew and didn't know! I have a few friends who are agnostic and I would relate to Ted my conversations with them and how I would find my beliefs by talking to someone who believed differently. Ted contacted me later, interested in hearing more from my friends for a seminary paper. I might be able to get a copy if anyone is interested. But he met them and interviewed them in my kitchen about their beliefs--
More recently Ted has been a support as a friend to my farm. He came out to see our small production the first year and the second year. He was interested in everything, even my horrible, amateur plumbing job! We sat under a tent and ate pie with my parents. Another interesting story - Ted I think really like potatoes- He asked if he could come out to the farm and pick some potatoes, and I said yes, of course we have plenty! I showed him where to look - potatoes were hard to find at that time because the plant had died and all that were left were huge weeds, well he dug and dug up 90 lbs of potatoes- We talked a few
months later- I am still eating your potatoes!! -- he said. What an encouraging and supportive friend. I really can't wait to spend more time with him!!
Friday, January 18, 2008
Memorial submissions slow to trickle
It's been a few weeks now. I imagine that all who had in mind something to write have done so, although perhaps a few are still pondering what they might add to this wonderful portrait of Ted which has developed since his passing. I'll keep this blog up indefinitely for the sake of family who wish to visit it on occasion. If there are any yet who have not contributed but have wondered whether or not they should, I'd encourage you to do so, even if it is something small. Ted's uniqueness was in the details of his life.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
For Ted
Richard Pinckney
Grand Rapids, MI
Seminary Friend
Ted was the embodiment of gentleness. He had an intensity about him that made you realize he was a person of strength and substance. I always respected Ted. I got to know him through a Crown Bible Study my wife and I led and from being in the same Formation for Ministry small group at the seminary. I envied his ability to be quiet and listen to others. He had an amazing ability to listen.
The first time I met Ted was when we took a summer Greek course at Calvin College. I sat next to him and noticed he was using old envelopes to take notes on (the kind with plastic windows which meant he had to write around the window at 90 degree angles!) I didn't know him but I thought, "Wow, that's really sad, this poor seminarian can't even afford paper to write on. He must have spent all his money on tuition." So I made a plan to go and buy him a few stacks of brand new lined paper and bring it to him saying; "Here ya go dude, enjoy! You don't have to write small any more!" But as I was thinking about it, something put the thought in my mind that maybe he was doing it on purpose. I'm so thankful I didn't give him that paper! But even if I had I'm sure he wouldn't have made me feel bad for doing it. Ted was the kind of person who faithfully lived out his convictions without making others feel condemned. He inspired others by the example of his life. I look forward to seeing him again one day in glory in the presence of our Lord and Savior!
Grand Rapids, MI
Seminary Friend
Ted was the embodiment of gentleness. He had an intensity about him that made you realize he was a person of strength and substance. I always respected Ted. I got to know him through a Crown Bible Study my wife and I led and from being in the same Formation for Ministry small group at the seminary. I envied his ability to be quiet and listen to others. He had an amazing ability to listen.
The first time I met Ted was when we took a summer Greek course at Calvin College. I sat next to him and noticed he was using old envelopes to take notes on (the kind with plastic windows which meant he had to write around the window at 90 degree angles!) I didn't know him but I thought, "Wow, that's really sad, this poor seminarian can't even afford paper to write on. He must have spent all his money on tuition." So I made a plan to go and buy him a few stacks of brand new lined paper and bring it to him saying; "Here ya go dude, enjoy! You don't have to write small any more!" But as I was thinking about it, something put the thought in my mind that maybe he was doing it on purpose. I'm so thankful I didn't give him that paper! But even if I had I'm sure he wouldn't have made me feel bad for doing it. Ted was the kind of person who faithfully lived out his convictions without making others feel condemned. He inspired others by the example of his life. I look forward to seeing him again one day in glory in the presence of our Lord and Savior!
Monday, January 7, 2008
An Amazing Friend
Mary-Ann Hummel (Thies)
Smithville, Ontario
Life long friend
When I heard the news about Ted’s accident, I couldn’t believe it, how could someone that was so close to me be gone. Since then Ted has been on my mind, I have been remembering all the times we have spent together. Being friends since elementary school sure adds up; tackle football in elementary school, camping with young peoples, hanging out on the weekends, our phone conversations, emails, the times he would come down for the holidays from Alberta, Grand Rapids or wherever he was at the time. We would get together for lunch or dinner and get caught up on what we have been doing since the last time we have talked or seen each other. Ted was the type of person to ask the questions, finding out what was new, old or bothering me and he would listen and give advice. He was very good at turning my questions around so that we would end up talking about me. After a while I would do the same to him and he would just laugh his unique laugh.
There are so many memories of Ted that I do not know where to begin or what to write. He was an amazing friend with a kind, gentle heart and a love for anyone and anything that crossed his path. He always made sure he had time for his friends and families. Even though some of them may have been brief reunions, he still made sure they happened. The times that we got together, we would talk about our families, the nieces and nephews and how he loved spending time with them.
The last few times we have tried to get together when he was down, never seemed to work. Either I was gone on holidays, or the days that he was available just didn’t seem to work for me, or his time here was just too jammed packed with visiting. That was okay; we made sure we kept in touch with email. The last time he did come down to our place was two summers ago. I remembering sitting out on our deck and talking about everything and anything. Yes, he did most of the listening but I knew how to get him talking. I showed him my vegetable garden. Right away, he started telling me how to take care of this and that, and how I can eventually have an organic garden. He seemed excited for me and gave me lots of pointers. He sure loved anything to do with gardening.
Mr. and Mrs. Vellenga, Heidi, Chris, Tim and Natalie, I just want you to know that I am thinking and praying for you guys. Ted was an amazing person who will always be close to my heart; I will never forget him or any of the times we have spent together, he has definitely made me a better person. I don’t understand why his time here on earth was so short, but I do know that he has touched many lives and those lives he touched will never forget him.
Smithville, Ontario
Life long friend
When I heard the news about Ted’s accident, I couldn’t believe it, how could someone that was so close to me be gone. Since then Ted has been on my mind, I have been remembering all the times we have spent together. Being friends since elementary school sure adds up; tackle football in elementary school, camping with young peoples, hanging out on the weekends, our phone conversations, emails, the times he would come down for the holidays from Alberta, Grand Rapids or wherever he was at the time. We would get together for lunch or dinner and get caught up on what we have been doing since the last time we have talked or seen each other. Ted was the type of person to ask the questions, finding out what was new, old or bothering me and he would listen and give advice. He was very good at turning my questions around so that we would end up talking about me. After a while I would do the same to him and he would just laugh his unique laugh.
There are so many memories of Ted that I do not know where to begin or what to write. He was an amazing friend with a kind, gentle heart and a love for anyone and anything that crossed his path. He always made sure he had time for his friends and families. Even though some of them may have been brief reunions, he still made sure they happened. The times that we got together, we would talk about our families, the nieces and nephews and how he loved spending time with them.
The last few times we have tried to get together when he was down, never seemed to work. Either I was gone on holidays, or the days that he was available just didn’t seem to work for me, or his time here was just too jammed packed with visiting. That was okay; we made sure we kept in touch with email. The last time he did come down to our place was two summers ago. I remembering sitting out on our deck and talking about everything and anything. Yes, he did most of the listening but I knew how to get him talking. I showed him my vegetable garden. Right away, he started telling me how to take care of this and that, and how I can eventually have an organic garden. He seemed excited for me and gave me lots of pointers. He sure loved anything to do with gardening.
Mr. and Mrs. Vellenga, Heidi, Chris, Tim and Natalie, I just want you to know that I am thinking and praying for you guys. Ted was an amazing person who will always be close to my heart; I will never forget him or any of the times we have spent together, he has definitely made me a better person. I don’t understand why his time here on earth was so short, but I do know that he has touched many lives and those lives he touched will never forget him.
From Kings College
Heather Looy, Ph.D.
Edmonton, Alberta
Professor of Ted's from Kings College
When I heard of Ted's untimely death, I was deeply shaken and sorrowful. I was surprised to be so strongly affected as it's been several years since we were last in touch. As I read the other memories of Ted in this blog I had tears coming to my eyes. This deep response confirmed for me that Ted was a remarkable young man who had a profound impact on all those whose lives he touched, however briefly. I hope that even now he knows how deeply he was appreciated and loved by so many.
Ted was a student in several of my psychology courses at King's, and I was also his faculty advisor. We had many conversations about "life, the universe, and everything" in my office. Often Ted would talk of his struggle to find his calling. He felt equally drawn to the earth and farming, to pastoral ministry, and to counseling. Those conversations revealed a young man with a thoughtfulness, depth of insight, and maturity rare at any age.
While I hope I provided some small support and a listening ear to Ted in those years, I KNOW that he provided wonderful support and encouragement to me in my work--unusual for an undergraduate student! He had a gift of listening and of really being present to another in a way that left me always feeling "seen" and valued. He was also a wonderful support during classes. Even if everyone else in the room was either asleep or looking confused, I could look over at Ted and see his deep, steady eyes reflecting thoughtful engagement, and often his gentle nod or small smile of encouragement or understanding. And when I struggled with laryngitis, he was the student who promptly left his seat and offered to be my voice to the class, without my asking, even though I knew that at the time he felt a bit shy about being in the spotlight.
The world has lost a precious gift in Ted. Part of me feels both deeply angry and confused about why he was taken from us. Another part knows and trusts that Ted is, in death as in life, in God's loving hands, for "nothing can separate us from God's love", which is "high and wide and deep". And even in his death, Ted is ministering to us. I have been drawn to reflect on Ted's person and way of being, and in that reflection I am both humbled and inspired to live more deeply, to embrace life in all its messiness with courage, and to accept each day with gratitude.
Ted, thank you for the blessing you have been, and continue to be even in death.
Heather Looy, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Psychology
Edmonton, Alberta
Professor of Ted's from Kings College
When I heard of Ted's untimely death, I was deeply shaken and sorrowful. I was surprised to be so strongly affected as it's been several years since we were last in touch. As I read the other memories of Ted in this blog I had tears coming to my eyes. This deep response confirmed for me that Ted was a remarkable young man who had a profound impact on all those whose lives he touched, however briefly. I hope that even now he knows how deeply he was appreciated and loved by so many.
Ted was a student in several of my psychology courses at King's, and I was also his faculty advisor. We had many conversations about "life, the universe, and everything" in my office. Often Ted would talk of his struggle to find his calling. He felt equally drawn to the earth and farming, to pastoral ministry, and to counseling. Those conversations revealed a young man with a thoughtfulness, depth of insight, and maturity rare at any age.
While I hope I provided some small support and a listening ear to Ted in those years, I KNOW that he provided wonderful support and encouragement to me in my work--unusual for an undergraduate student! He had a gift of listening and of really being present to another in a way that left me always feeling "seen" and valued. He was also a wonderful support during classes. Even if everyone else in the room was either asleep or looking confused, I could look over at Ted and see his deep, steady eyes reflecting thoughtful engagement, and often his gentle nod or small smile of encouragement or understanding. And when I struggled with laryngitis, he was the student who promptly left his seat and offered to be my voice to the class, without my asking, even though I knew that at the time he felt a bit shy about being in the spotlight.
The world has lost a precious gift in Ted. Part of me feels both deeply angry and confused about why he was taken from us. Another part knows and trusts that Ted is, in death as in life, in God's loving hands, for "nothing can separate us from God's love", which is "high and wide and deep". And even in his death, Ted is ministering to us. I have been drawn to reflect on Ted's person and way of being, and in that reflection I am both humbled and inspired to live more deeply, to embrace life in all its messiness with courage, and to accept each day with gratitude.
Ted, thank you for the blessing you have been, and continue to be even in death.
Heather Looy, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Psychology
Friday, January 4, 2008
Picking Apples
Christy Spalink
New York City, NY
Friend of Ted
I always looked forward to when Ted came over for dinner or just to hang out. He was a unique soul. Sometimes, when I would be struggling with something, Ben would advise me to tell Ted. He was the most empathic person I have ever met. He was the best listener of any friend Ben and I have ever known. I also loved hearing about his hobbies and latest ventures. After knowing Ted for a while I would even ask Ben what new hobbies he was up to. Shearing sheep, butchering cattle, or growing the most spectacular fruits and vegetables were not too daunting for Ted. I respected Ted for his principles and wanted to be more like him, everything from planting a little potted garden on our deck with pots borrowed from Ted to happily selling our car when we moved to New York City.
I have a friend that worked at the hospital with me in Grand Rapids, but had no connections to anything CRC-related. But, she did know of a seminarian who had stopped by her home one time. In her yard was a large apple tree whose fruit went to waste every year. A young man with a beard dropped by one day, knocking on the door, and asked permission to harvest and eat her apples. Of course, she was not going to use them, so Ted went to work harvesting all her apples, and they welcomed Ted in for dinner. Imagine our surprise when we finally made the connection that this Ted was the same Ted that we were friends with. Ted was probably the only impression that my friend had of the seminary besides my husband and myself. And it was a good impression indeed.
New York City, NY
Friend of Ted
I always looked forward to when Ted came over for dinner or just to hang out. He was a unique soul. Sometimes, when I would be struggling with something, Ben would advise me to tell Ted. He was the most empathic person I have ever met. He was the best listener of any friend Ben and I have ever known. I also loved hearing about his hobbies and latest ventures. After knowing Ted for a while I would even ask Ben what new hobbies he was up to. Shearing sheep, butchering cattle, or growing the most spectacular fruits and vegetables were not too daunting for Ted. I respected Ted for his principles and wanted to be more like him, everything from planting a little potted garden on our deck with pots borrowed from Ted to happily selling our car when we moved to New York City.
I have a friend that worked at the hospital with me in Grand Rapids, but had no connections to anything CRC-related. But, she did know of a seminarian who had stopped by her home one time. In her yard was a large apple tree whose fruit went to waste every year. A young man with a beard dropped by one day, knocking on the door, and asked permission to harvest and eat her apples. Of course, she was not going to use them, so Ted went to work harvesting all her apples, and they welcomed Ted in for dinner. Imagine our surprise when we finally made the connection that this Ted was the same Ted that we were friends with. Ted was probably the only impression that my friend had of the seminary besides my husband and myself. And it was a good impression indeed.
Ted Vellenga the parable worker
Jay Knochenhauer
Grand Rapids, MI
Seminary Friend
I met Ted on a day I was visiting Calvin Seminary as I tried to decide if I should enroll. By God’s wonderful providence I had the privilege of hearing Ted preach what I think must have been his first sermon. It was a snippet really, a brief re-telling of a parable in Dr. Rottman’s introduction to preaching class in early 2004. Often these are more worthy of repentance than remembrance. But I remember Ted’s distinctly. He was assigned Matt. 20, the parable of the workers in the vineyard. He stood nervously but in quiet humility and as he related his experience of having personally lived in this parable a few years prior as he struggled with depression. He told of the grace and the benevolence of his boss who took him under his wing and smiled upon him and encouraged him even though Ted was the slowest worker in the orchard. The owner paid him a wage that far exceeded his worth. It was poor business practice and so unexpected, yet so God-like. It was grace. “This parable is showing us that the economy of the kingdom of God operates on different rules than ours,” Ted said. “This is what God is like.” He told of undeserved grace and mercy and seeing the smile of God upon the lowly, the lost, the unwanted. God used Ted at that moment to pull back the veil that obscures the invisible kingdom of Christ. He made me want to be a preacher. Ted showed me more of God. Now he sees face to face what he only knew in part. I was blessed to know him.
Grand Rapids, MI
Seminary Friend
I met Ted on a day I was visiting Calvin Seminary as I tried to decide if I should enroll. By God’s wonderful providence I had the privilege of hearing Ted preach what I think must have been his first sermon. It was a snippet really, a brief re-telling of a parable in Dr. Rottman’s introduction to preaching class in early 2004. Often these are more worthy of repentance than remembrance. But I remember Ted’s distinctly. He was assigned Matt. 20, the parable of the workers in the vineyard. He stood nervously but in quiet humility and as he related his experience of having personally lived in this parable a few years prior as he struggled with depression. He told of the grace and the benevolence of his boss who took him under his wing and smiled upon him and encouraged him even though Ted was the slowest worker in the orchard. The owner paid him a wage that far exceeded his worth. It was poor business practice and so unexpected, yet so God-like. It was grace. “This parable is showing us that the economy of the kingdom of God operates on different rules than ours,” Ted said. “This is what God is like.” He told of undeserved grace and mercy and seeing the smile of God upon the lowly, the lost, the unwanted. God used Ted at that moment to pull back the veil that obscures the invisible kingdom of Christ. He made me want to be a preacher. Ted showed me more of God. Now he sees face to face what he only knew in part. I was blessed to know him.
My Friend
Tricia Shane (Jagt)
Telkwa, BC
Friend from Kings
I checked my inbox yesterday to find an email with the subject, 'Ted Vellenga', and a smile was on my face. I knew that he had recently finished at Calvin Seminary as I saw his picture in The Banner (a CRC publication) because he had become a candidate. Because of that picture, I was finally able to reconnect with Ted after not talking to him for several years. We emailed and I discovered that he had taken a job as a Chaplain in a hospital on the Pediatric floor. Did that ever sound perfect for him! I told him of my little family that I have begun, and he wrote back about how he had grown a new appreciation and love for children since he had become an uncle.
Then I opened the email to discover the horrifying news and was struck back. It was not possible. The most incredible God-fearing and honoring man I had ever met could not have been taken from this earth. He had so many things to contribute and so many lives of which to be a part. Why would God take him?
Ted and I came to know each other at the King's University College. It was summer and I went back home to live with my parents. Ted needed a place to live for those few months and my room back in Edmonton was available. So he moved in with all of my roommates and slept in my bed for the summer. I got to know him over the phone because he always seemed to answer whenever I tried to call my friends. And the relationship blossomed from there!
When I came back after the summer Ted moved in with Rob and Josh and we kept in touch -- I knew I had found a friend I could not do without. He often had me over for lunch after church on Sundays and would make some sort of concoction in his new pressure cooker that he loved so much! He would always be wearing his apron and I would always prepare myself for the house being on the cold side - he never had it warm.
Every meal and every conversation I ever had with Ted was so important, even vital it seemed. Every word that came out of his soft-spoken mouth was so wise and I had to listen to and be affected by what he was saying. I was going through a rough patch myself, and Ted always had the exact right ways of putting things so that I would not feel ashamed, but rather I would feel a strong desire to make sure things would change for the better.
Even though I had lost contact with Ted for a few years, I never stopped thinking about him, praying for him, and loving him. And I suppose I never will. I am so sorry for his family and I send you my prayers. Ted was an incredible man that nobody will easily forget. I am definitely a better person because I knew him.
I also send a special prayer for Ted's father Pete, who lost his mother on that same day. May you feel God's comforting hands wrapped around you at this time.
Telkwa, BC
Friend from Kings
I checked my inbox yesterday to find an email with the subject, 'Ted Vellenga', and a smile was on my face. I knew that he had recently finished at Calvin Seminary as I saw his picture in The Banner (a CRC publication) because he had become a candidate. Because of that picture, I was finally able to reconnect with Ted after not talking to him for several years. We emailed and I discovered that he had taken a job as a Chaplain in a hospital on the Pediatric floor. Did that ever sound perfect for him! I told him of my little family that I have begun, and he wrote back about how he had grown a new appreciation and love for children since he had become an uncle.
Then I opened the email to discover the horrifying news and was struck back. It was not possible. The most incredible God-fearing and honoring man I had ever met could not have been taken from this earth. He had so many things to contribute and so many lives of which to be a part. Why would God take him?
Ted and I came to know each other at the King's University College. It was summer and I went back home to live with my parents. Ted needed a place to live for those few months and my room back in Edmonton was available. So he moved in with all of my roommates and slept in my bed for the summer. I got to know him over the phone because he always seemed to answer whenever I tried to call my friends. And the relationship blossomed from there!
When I came back after the summer Ted moved in with Rob and Josh and we kept in touch -- I knew I had found a friend I could not do without. He often had me over for lunch after church on Sundays and would make some sort of concoction in his new pressure cooker that he loved so much! He would always be wearing his apron and I would always prepare myself for the house being on the cold side - he never had it warm.
Every meal and every conversation I ever had with Ted was so important, even vital it seemed. Every word that came out of his soft-spoken mouth was so wise and I had to listen to and be affected by what he was saying. I was going through a rough patch myself, and Ted always had the exact right ways of putting things so that I would not feel ashamed, but rather I would feel a strong desire to make sure things would change for the better.
Even though I had lost contact with Ted for a few years, I never stopped thinking about him, praying for him, and loving him. And I suppose I never will. I am so sorry for his family and I send you my prayers. Ted was an incredible man that nobody will easily forget. I am definitely a better person because I knew him.
I also send a special prayer for Ted's father Pete, who lost his mother on that same day. May you feel God's comforting hands wrapped around you at this time.
A Friend
Brian Kuyper
Seminary Classmate and Friend
I met Ted right away at the beginning of Seminary. We lived in the same apartment building. He was a great neighbor, classmate and friend. I helped Ted move a picnic table over to his apartment so he could enjoy the outdoors and to put his plants on. I enjoyed the many conversations we had together over the 4 years of Seminary.
This was so shocking to hear the news about his death. My mother-in-law goes to his Uncle and Aunt's church in Beamsville and she called me up right away. She knew Ted and I were classmates and we even dropped him off at his sister's in Vineland once. One of the things that was so shocking was the location of the accident. It was literally a few miles from where my wife and I lived last year on our internship in Jarvis. We know that road well and were just shocked to hear about it.
I will miss Ted's quiet nature. I will miss his smile and his laugh. I will miss all the great conversations we had while at Seminary, not only about school, but about life. We who are left mourn his death. But we trust in the words of Lord's Day 1 from the Heidelberg Catechism: "What is your only comfort in life and in death? That I am not my own, but belong body and soul, in life and in death to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ." We take comfort in knowing this was Ted's comfort in life and in death.
Seminary Classmate and Friend
I met Ted right away at the beginning of Seminary. We lived in the same apartment building. He was a great neighbor, classmate and friend. I helped Ted move a picnic table over to his apartment so he could enjoy the outdoors and to put his plants on. I enjoyed the many conversations we had together over the 4 years of Seminary.
This was so shocking to hear the news about his death. My mother-in-law goes to his Uncle and Aunt's church in Beamsville and she called me up right away. She knew Ted and I were classmates and we even dropped him off at his sister's in Vineland once. One of the things that was so shocking was the location of the accident. It was literally a few miles from where my wife and I lived last year on our internship in Jarvis. We know that road well and were just shocked to hear about it.
I will miss Ted's quiet nature. I will miss his smile and his laugh. I will miss all the great conversations we had while at Seminary, not only about school, but about life. We who are left mourn his death. But we trust in the words of Lord's Day 1 from the Heidelberg Catechism: "What is your only comfort in life and in death? That I am not my own, but belong body and soul, in life and in death to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ." We take comfort in knowing this was Ted's comfort in life and in death.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Remembering a Friend
Karyn Wynalda
Christchurch, New Zealand
Friend
Christmas morning in New Zealand, I received an email from a mutual friend of Ted and myself, that he had passed away. I was really taken aback, and deeply grieved; the world was less a stellar man. It's hard to imagine that I will not get any more emails from Ted, for that was our prime method of communication since we "met" in 2000 by email, when I was in Central America and he in Edmonton. It took over a year, but we did finally meet in person--at Heidi and Chris' wedding, and I was so nervous, he so calm. We were glad to step from behind the computer screens so our relationship wasn't a "cyber-thing", ironic for two who longed for simpler living, as we both admitted laughingly that night. Years went by and we lived/worked apart in different cities/countries, but consistently writing and sharing ideas. I know for me, Ted was a bit of an anchor point, someone I could count on to understand my consternation with global warming, poverty, recycling, the need for organics...
I got up the courage to read through some of the emails we'd sent in the last few years and the somewhat eccentric conversations: creative composting, worries about cell phone signals through our heads, deodorant experiments, bicycle adventures....stuff that I felt so safe and "normal" talking to Ted about, but sometimes thought, with a chuckle, maybe not dinner party fare. I will really miss reading Ted's thoughts, and responding to them. I am thankful for words I have, and hope one day to go through them for some more nuggets of wisdom, good ideas, recommended book/article lists.
I often wondered why God allowed Ted and I to be friends if we so rarely could garden the same plot of ground, or talk face to face. What a treat to read the snippets others have written that in "real life" he was fantastic, like he was on screen and paper. We met a few more times after the wedding meeting, a more memorable hike in Alberta where I slipped and almost fell into a canyon but was saved by a tiny tree, my arm hooked around it, and an adrenaline dash up the top where Ted was carefully and stressfully trying to reach me. I stood up, heart pounding and said, "Oh Ted, sorry about that, you wouldn't have had the car keys"... I am not sure he knew what to think, the look on his face--it was always fun to make Ted laugh.
God had other plans for Ted...and for me, I'm planning the orchard of fruit and nut trees, the garden is coming along, I just found an old bike to ride... It's peaceful knowing that all that earnest desire to redeem the earth is satisfied for him, that pleases me to no end. It'll be great to see Ted again where all things are made new, and make sense. I am SO thankful to Heidi, Ted's sister, for encouraging us to write each other, I am so thankful for Ted for writing first. You must know, Peter and Hennie, Heidi and Chris, Tim and Natalie, and those darling nieces and nephews, that he treasured you, and always relished the time together. My prayers are with you now.
In the words of one of our favourite writers, Wendell Berry:
So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing...
Love someone who does not deserve it...
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias...
Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts...
Practise resurrection.
(in selected poems)
Christchurch, New Zealand
Friend
Christmas morning in New Zealand, I received an email from a mutual friend of Ted and myself, that he had passed away. I was really taken aback, and deeply grieved; the world was less a stellar man. It's hard to imagine that I will not get any more emails from Ted, for that was our prime method of communication since we "met" in 2000 by email, when I was in Central America and he in Edmonton. It took over a year, but we did finally meet in person--at Heidi and Chris' wedding, and I was so nervous, he so calm. We were glad to step from behind the computer screens so our relationship wasn't a "cyber-thing", ironic for two who longed for simpler living, as we both admitted laughingly that night. Years went by and we lived/worked apart in different cities/countries, but consistently writing and sharing ideas. I know for me, Ted was a bit of an anchor point, someone I could count on to understand my consternation with global warming, poverty, recycling, the need for organics...
I got up the courage to read through some of the emails we'd sent in the last few years and the somewhat eccentric conversations: creative composting, worries about cell phone signals through our heads, deodorant experiments, bicycle adventures....stuff that I felt so safe and "normal" talking to Ted about, but sometimes thought, with a chuckle, maybe not dinner party fare. I will really miss reading Ted's thoughts, and responding to them. I am thankful for words I have, and hope one day to go through them for some more nuggets of wisdom, good ideas, recommended book/article lists.
I often wondered why God allowed Ted and I to be friends if we so rarely could garden the same plot of ground, or talk face to face. What a treat to read the snippets others have written that in "real life" he was fantastic, like he was on screen and paper. We met a few more times after the wedding meeting, a more memorable hike in Alberta where I slipped and almost fell into a canyon but was saved by a tiny tree, my arm hooked around it, and an adrenaline dash up the top where Ted was carefully and stressfully trying to reach me. I stood up, heart pounding and said, "Oh Ted, sorry about that, you wouldn't have had the car keys"... I am not sure he knew what to think, the look on his face--it was always fun to make Ted laugh.
God had other plans for Ted...and for me, I'm planning the orchard of fruit and nut trees, the garden is coming along, I just found an old bike to ride... It's peaceful knowing that all that earnest desire to redeem the earth is satisfied for him, that pleases me to no end. It'll be great to see Ted again where all things are made new, and make sense. I am SO thankful to Heidi, Ted's sister, for encouraging us to write each other, I am so thankful for Ted for writing first. You must know, Peter and Hennie, Heidi and Chris, Tim and Natalie, and those darling nieces and nephews, that he treasured you, and always relished the time together. My prayers are with you now.
In the words of one of our favourite writers, Wendell Berry:
So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing...
Love someone who does not deserve it...
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias...
Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts...
Practise resurrection.
(in selected poems)
Remembering Ted
Rev. Andrew P. Geisterfer
Alberta, Canada
Secretary, Student Fund Committee of Classis Alberta
I did not know Ted well. I am the secretary for the Student Funding Committee for Classis Alberta North. Our classis gave Ted financial support for his tenure at Calvin Theological Seminary. I recall Ted as someone who struck every member of our committee as someone who truly was called by the Lord to serve him in ministry. I recall with pride, interacting with Ted in his applications and the unfettered gratitude which he showed for the financial support he received and his love of his studies and the work he was embarking on. I and the other members of my committee were always very much impressed with Ted and his interaction with us. I had high expectations for him and he exceeded those. He presented himself as confident and calm in seeking out the will of our Lord and Saviour in his career. I am saddened at his sudden passing but am assured, as others are, that he is resting with our Lord and Saviour. I consider it a blessing to have been able to assist him in his studies as part of the committee that I served on. I wish God's blessing on his family and friends as they now continue life without Ted.
Alberta, Canada
Secretary, Student Fund Committee of Classis Alberta
I did not know Ted well. I am the secretary for the Student Funding Committee for Classis Alberta North. Our classis gave Ted financial support for his tenure at Calvin Theological Seminary. I recall Ted as someone who struck every member of our committee as someone who truly was called by the Lord to serve him in ministry. I recall with pride, interacting with Ted in his applications and the unfettered gratitude which he showed for the financial support he received and his love of his studies and the work he was embarking on. I and the other members of my committee were always very much impressed with Ted and his interaction with us. I had high expectations for him and he exceeded those. He presented himself as confident and calm in seeking out the will of our Lord and Saviour in his career. I am saddened at his sudden passing but am assured, as others are, that he is resting with our Lord and Saviour. I consider it a blessing to have been able to assist him in his studies as part of the committee that I served on. I wish God's blessing on his family and friends as they now continue life without Ted.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Pete and Hennie Vellenga
Pete and Hennie Vellenga
Ted's Parents
It is a parents’ worst nightmare—come true. When we spoke with Ted earlier that week to find out his plans for coming home, he said he would be home late afternoon, around suppertime. When it was 7 p.m., we thought maybe he had trouble with his truck, or issues with his dog Jack. At 9 p.m. we started to get a knot in our stomachs because we didn’t hear from him, and Pete said, this doesn’t look good. At 10 pm. Pete told me to go to bed and he would lay on the couch and wait for Ted so he could help him with his luggage and Jack. Around midnight he heard a car pull in the driveway and thought, hesitantly, “Oh Ted’s home! He looked out the window first and when he saw the 2 policemen, he knew. All the policemen knew was it was a head on collision – these policemen were from our region, not the region where the accident took place. And, we could call the investigating officer to find out more details at 6 a.m. What happened was the vehicle behind Ted saw him move into the oncoming lane of traffic. In their investigation the police have no idea why this happened.
Our emotions have been like a rollercoaster. We know some of Ted’s earthly struggles, and it comforts us greatly that he is now in heaven free from this. Ted’s grandmother (Pete’s Mom) passed away in the early morning of Dec 22. We had decided to tell Ted this when he got home. They met in heaven.
We are deeply touched by the prayers, cards, flowers, words of comfort, memories and stories shared by SO many people who knew Ted. We’ve often heard people tell about the power of prayer - it is sooo true. We are experiencing this in a very real way.
You know Ben, when you wrote about Ted and shared your memories of him, you were right on! This past Sunday Pete and I and our 2 children, Heidi and Tim went up to Penetanguishene to gather Ted’s belongings from his apartment. Ted would prefer to bike or walk, than drive his truck. In the kitchen we found his bike – dismantled. In one of his tires he had put screws to work like studs so he could ride his bike in the snow. I think he would have done the same to the other tire. He has had this bicycle for about 10 years and when he left Kalamazoo in September, I said “ you have to take that bike back to Ontario with you”.
We are proud of Ted and incredibly grateful that he has meant a lot to so many people. We miss him dearly.
We want to thank everyone who has entered their memory in this blog. It is a great comfort to us. Our daughter-in-law will transfer this blog to a hard drive and gather these stories to put in a binder so we can read them again and again.
Pete and Hennie Vellenga
Ted's Parents
It is a parents’ worst nightmare—come true. When we spoke with Ted earlier that week to find out his plans for coming home, he said he would be home late afternoon, around suppertime. When it was 7 p.m., we thought maybe he had trouble with his truck, or issues with his dog Jack. At 9 p.m. we started to get a knot in our stomachs because we didn’t hear from him, and Pete said, this doesn’t look good. At 10 pm. Pete told me to go to bed and he would lay on the couch and wait for Ted so he could help him with his luggage and Jack. Around midnight he heard a car pull in the driveway and thought, hesitantly, “Oh Ted’s home! He looked out the window first and when he saw the 2 policemen, he knew. All the policemen knew was it was a head on collision – these policemen were from our region, not the region where the accident took place. And, we could call the investigating officer to find out more details at 6 a.m. What happened was the vehicle behind Ted saw him move into the oncoming lane of traffic. In their investigation the police have no idea why this happened.
Our emotions have been like a rollercoaster. We know some of Ted’s earthly struggles, and it comforts us greatly that he is now in heaven free from this. Ted’s grandmother (Pete’s Mom) passed away in the early morning of Dec 22. We had decided to tell Ted this when he got home. They met in heaven.
We are deeply touched by the prayers, cards, flowers, words of comfort, memories and stories shared by SO many people who knew Ted. We’ve often heard people tell about the power of prayer - it is sooo true. We are experiencing this in a very real way.
You know Ben, when you wrote about Ted and shared your memories of him, you were right on! This past Sunday Pete and I and our 2 children, Heidi and Tim went up to Penetanguishene to gather Ted’s belongings from his apartment. Ted would prefer to bike or walk, than drive his truck. In the kitchen we found his bike – dismantled. In one of his tires he had put screws to work like studs so he could ride his bike in the snow. I think he would have done the same to the other tire. He has had this bicycle for about 10 years and when he left Kalamazoo in September, I said “ you have to take that bike back to Ontario with you”.
We are proud of Ted and incredibly grateful that he has meant a lot to so many people. We miss him dearly.
We want to thank everyone who has entered their memory in this blog. It is a great comfort to us. Our daughter-in-law will transfer this blog to a hard drive and gather these stories to put in a binder so we can read them again and again.
Pete and Hennie Vellenga
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