Pete and Hennie Vellenga
Ted’s parents
Our thoughts of Ted surround us every day, and some days are more difficult than others. Soon his birthday will be before us.
From the time Ted passed away, it has bothered me immensely that the Funeral Director wouldn’t let us see Ted’s body, despite persistent effort. Last Fall, with the help of a Sargeant from the Police Detachment involved with the accident, she had acquired pictures of Ted at the accident scene and post mortem, and selected the least traumatic picture for me to see. Pete, nor Heidi or Tim, wanted to see this. It was good to see the pre-postmortem picture (right side profile), however it raised more questions which the Sargeant and Victim Services Worker (also present when I viewed the picture) answered.
On Dec 20, we went to Midland to join in a delicious dinner hosted by Ted’s supervisor from the Mental Health Center in Penetanguishene. This was an evening in memory of Ted, and we were delighted to see Christopher, his wife and a few of Ted’s co-workers again. For the staff who worked with Ted, the whole preparation of the Christmas dinner and program for the clients at the MHC brought back memories of when, the year before, Ted was so involved in the event planning of the clients’ Christmas dinner and program.
On Dec 22, date of the accident, in the morning, we went to the cemetery to lay some flowers on the grave. It was a cold but beautiful sunny day. The marker was hard to find, covered with snow and ice, but we found it. At 4:40 that afternoon (approximate time of the accident) we lit a candle and shared some thoughts—that was hard. In the evening some of my family came to join us. Throughout the holiday season, the candle was lit in memory of Ted. As family, we experienced the season with Heidi and Chris and their children, Theo, Evan and Jenna, and with Tim and Natalie and their children, Adalia and Brydon. We had our Christmas the same way as in years past. We were comforted by the many cards/letters, emails, phone calls of people saying their thoughts were with us.
On January 2, several of Ted’s highschool friends came over for dinner. We had a wonderful evening becoming acquainted with each other, and they shared their pictures of Ted with us, and we shared out pictures with them. It was an evening where we thought,… why didn’t we do this when Ted was with us.
On January 30 we visited with Ken and Martha Laing, the couple whom Ted spent his last night with. It was so good to spend the day with them. They have a fascinating farm with interesting projects on the go. We can see why Ted like to spend so much time with them, and on their farm. They showed us their flour mill, and Martha put some of Ted’s unhulled buckwheat through their flour mill, and so now I’m able to use this in our home-made bread. We just bought ourselves a flour mill so we can mill some more to Ted’s grains into flour. How we wish we had done this when he was still with us.
We try to focus our thoughts on where Ted is, how happy he now is, and look forward to the day we will see him again.
Sincerely,
Pete and Hennie
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